Recently I pulled out one of those Christian tracks, you know, a small fold out that promotes the Jesus stuff. I have no qualms with Jesus. He’s totally cool.
This particular fold out has 101 of the world’s funniest one liners. You’re supposed to get a good laugh and then you warm up to their message at the end. The copy was given to me six years ago from a newspaper reporter in a town in eastern Ontario while I was on my third trek across Canada. He came out to the street to interview me. I felt him to be a bit biased, he asked, “Why did you get into this?” Meaning Bhakti Yoga, Krishna Consciousness. Anyways, I thought to share a selection of these one liners. It’s Halloween, you can scream if you want.
1. Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
2. Never answer an anonymous letter.
3. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
4. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
5. Campers: nature’s way of feeding mosquitoes.
6. Always remember that you are unique; just like everyone else.
7. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
8. There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who can’t.
9. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
10. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
12. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
13. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
14. You can’t have everything; where would you put it?
15. Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality cheque?
16. We are born naked, wet and hungry, then things get worse.
17. Eat right, stay fit, die anyway.
18. God made mankind. Sin made him evil.
19. Don’t steal. The government hates competition.
20. For every action, there’s an equal and opposite criticism.
And by the way, monks can laugh. I hope you do too. If you’d like a second installment, let me know.
May the Source be with you!