Insomnia hit hard once again. In addressing it I decided to put on my sneakers for walking. Before that, I donned rather large swimming trunks. Why? Well, it was raining out. Dhotis don't always score well in the wetness. Over the torso was a new gift, a dark blue XL T-shirt which reads, 'Volunteer for Festival of India.'
It was night time. Being summer the rain was warm, so little impediment is what I felt. My monk-in-cognito attire had purely to do with practicality; something I've learned from being a student of Srila Prabhupada.
Rain persisted. The walking persisted. The soft chanting persisted. It was a pleasant and liquid walk. I ended the walk just before midnight hoping to be fatigued enough. It just didn't come - the "feel" to sleep. The will was there.
I kept walking, but inside, now, in a dry setting, pacing back and forth. For a moment I dwelt on the curse that haunts me and then resigned to the fact that I'm giving more time to the mantra.
I ask for no pity. Everyone in this world has some deficiency, a personal issue, which might even cause one to reach for a tissue, a reaction.
We are reminded that along with this body, there's always some discomfort. That's clearly a message from the Gita - dukhalayam asasvatam.
Personally I wish that I didn't have to sleep. Think of the hours we could save and the service that could be rendered in that time! Introspectively I perceive those moments of wakefulness as precious because while the whole world is asleep, it appears only you and God are not.