From Volley Ball to Sex
There were no less than one hundred volley ball courts set up at The Beaches in Toronto's east side. Each court was occupied by summer enthusiasts. A member of our community, Mel, treated me to a barefoot trek (at my request) to the sandy beach to wind down the day.
There was nothing licentious about the beach. It was just family fun and nationalities of all kinds, yet the topic shared between Mel and I while trudging through sand was 'lust and what to do about it'. Mel recently had a failed marriage, yet the desire for companionship lingers. He explained that he feared being broken-hearted again and felt reluctant, at least for now, to enter into another relationship. As the saying goes, "once burnt, twice shy."
He wanted to know how to deal with human nature. He is contemplating celibacy. The question was, "how to deal with the urge and stay celibate?" I offered these recommendations:
1) Pray for strength from guru, God, and perhaps great celibate heroes like Hanuman and Bhisma.
2) Channel that explosive physical energy towards devotional passions such as drumming and dancing at a kirtan chanting session. Yoga, physical exercise such as walking, running and swimming are favourable.
3) Keep very busy in devotional service priorities such as chanting, reading, etc. - 24/7
4) Be informed. Statistically, a high percentage of relationships end up being a non-pretty sight. 50% of marriages fail and common-law relations dissolve also at a high rate.
5) Avoid viewing sex indulgent situations.
6) Be in good spiritual association with other celibates or respectable family folks.
7) Seek blessings.
Now, if one chooses to indulge in lust, then 1) do so within the realm of dharma, some level of control and regulation, and 2) Seek blessings.